Eye For An Eye
by itachi's future wife
Summary: When Reid's dark past rears it's ugly head, he can't stop how far and how fast the the truth will go.  Reid/Morgan Slash
1. Prologue

Criminal Minds Fanfiction

Title: Eye For An Eye

Summery: When Reid's dark past rears it's ugly head, he can't stop how far and how fast the the truth will go.

Rating: M (For violence)

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Wish I did, but I don't.

* * *

Dr Spencer Reid walked into the FBI office in Quantico, VA like he would on any other day. He was wearing a plain white dress shirt under a dark, forest-green sweater-vest and plain tan trousers. Balancing a stack of files with a fresh cup of coffee, he headed over to his desk.

"Hey Reid." Prentiss smiled pleasantly when she saw him.

"Hello Emily." He sat down his stack of files, pleased to be relieved of his load. "JJ here yet?"

"Yeah, she's always here first. Morgan on the other hand…" she dropped off with a chuckle, her dark hair swaying lightly as she laughed.

The day continued as usual, paper work, an occasional laugh or two amongst the group. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hey Reid, can I talk to you for a second." It was JJ. She gestured to him to follow.

"Yeah sure. Can it wait though? Hotch wants these by the end of the day and I'm nearly done." Reid said gesturing to the massive amount of paperwork on his desk.

"No, it can't. Morgan can handle it." Hotch said. He had come to stand next to JJ. "We need you now."

Reid watched the two of them warily. What could possibly be so important?

When Reid reached JJ's office, he was shocked to see a young woman sitting there. He recognized her from early that morning.

_"Hold the elevator!" Reid shouted while trying his best not to drop the massive load in his arms. The doors sprang back open. "Thank you so much! I think if I had had to wait on another elevator, I would have dropped all this stuff for sure." He stepped in next to the woman. She was very pretty with long dirty-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She didn't look at him. Reid shrugged it off, he was used to women avoiding him at all cost._

Reid was sure it was the same woman. "Is there a problem?" his eyes flashed from the woman to JJ.

"Yes, it appears Ms. Hillman here has some information on a _suspected_ serial killer in Las Vegas. We've been keeping tabs on the situation but the local police department is just calling us in now. Ms. Hillman refuses to speak to anyone other than you. She's actually been looking for you for quite a while." JJ said as she sat back down at her desk.

"Hillman?" Reid thought for a few seconds. He only knew one woman with the last name Hillman.

"I can see the wheels turning in that head of yours Spencer. No need to think so hard. It's me, Harper. I know you don't forget things." The woman said. Reid stared at her, his face turning paler that usual.

"Harper Hillman? From high school?" he looked closer at her features, beginning to see the younger version from his adolescent years. He took a small step away from her memories beginning to overwhelm him before bolting from the room.

"Spencer!" Harper stood up and tried to follow, only to be stopped by Hotch.

"Please sit down Ms. Hillman. We'll handle this." Hotch said quietly. He motioned to Morgan to follow Reid. Morgan nodded on stood from his desk and went to follow Reid.

Reid had hidden himself in the bathroom. He sat on the floor, his head between his knees. Harper Hillman? What the heck?

"Reid?" It was Morgan. Reid didn't even bother look up. "Hey pretty boy, you okay?"

"No Morgan, I'm not okay." Reid groaned. He expected Morgan to leave him alone. Morgan however, had other plans. He sat down next to Reid on the cool tiled floor, placing a comforting hand on Reid shoulder.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

"Not really. Some things just came to mind that I haven't wanted to think about for a long time. Let's just say it's been a while sense I've seen Harper Hillman." Reid said darkly. He looked from his knees but still avoided Morgan's face.

"You know you can talk to me right? Wait…" Morgan stopped talking for a few moments and thought. "Harper Hillman, you've mentioned her name before."

"Yes I have but right now, I would rather not talk about her." Reid moved to stand.

"Hold up Reid." Morgan stood as well. "You mentioned her during the Savage case. She was the one…the football field…" Morgan froze. "It's the same girl?"

"Please don't say anything Morgan. I'm begging you, please don't say anything." Reid looked as if he were about to vomit.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Ms. Hillman." Hotch said as he reentered JJ's office.

"No, it's okay. Where's Spencer?" she asked shortly.

"He won't be joining us. I do hope that's al-"

"No that's not alright. It has to be Spencer. It has to be! I can't talk about this to anybody else!" she stood suddenly.

"Please calm down Ms. Hillman." Hotch stood as well holding up his hand to ease her qualms.

"No, I will not calm down! You have no idea! No idea! I have to talk to Spencer. She pushed open the door to JJ's office and ran down into the bullpen, her eyes desperately searching for Reid's face. She saw him and Morgan walking back in from the bathroom. "Spencer!" Reid froze at the sound of her voice.

"Excuse me Ms. Hillman, but Dr. Reid has work to do." Morgan placed himself in between Harper and Reid.

"Spencer please! It's Alexa. She's in trouble and you're the only one who can help her." Tears ran down Harper's face. "We aren't children anymore Spencer. She needs you, she need's your help." Her voice was quiet.

Reid stared at Harper for a long time before responding. "I'm sorry Harper. I can't help you."

* * *

I know this is really short but it's just the prologue so it's meant to be short. Hope you enjoy. Also, my dogs have run across my keyboard so many times that my 'o' key has come loose. So if there are any missing o's in the story, that's why.


	2. Chapter 1

Criminal Minds Fanfiction

Title: Eye For an Eye

Summery:

Rating: M (For violence)

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Wish I did, but I don't

* * *

Chapter 1

Alexa Lisbon hadn't thought about Spencer Reid I years. He was a memory she had tried her hardest to block out.

Travis Johnson had brought his face fresh into her mind. The small child was by far the brightest student, a sophomore at age 12. He even looked a little bit like Spencer, the same chestnut brown curls and thick-rimmed glasses.

She knew for quite a while that Travis was being bullied but tried her hardest t ignore that fact. Spencer had stayed tough throughout the duration of his high school years. Bullying didn't have any real lasting effects. Right?

Alexa had stayed at the school building late to prepare for the upcoming open house when she heard the banging from the janitor's closet. She hesitantly opened the door and a startled Travis fell to the floor in shock.

"Travis?" He had a black eye and a busted lip. The word 'Loser' was written on his forehead in bright red marker. "What happened to you?" she had demanded.

"Nothing…" Travis huffed dejectedly. Alexa thought about pushing the issue but in the end decided that the young boy had been through enough. She loaded him into her car and drove him home, trying her hardest not to think about how similar he looked to Spencer on that fateful night.

Travis Johnson was found dead the next day, suicide, a single gunshot to the head.

Sitting at his funeral, tears in her eyes, it was as if she could hear his voice in her mind, bouncing off the walls around her.

'_This wasn't suicide…this was murder. They murdered me.'_ that was Travis.

'_Just like you tried to murder me._' it wasn't Travis in that casket anymore, it was Spencer. He was staring at her with haunted eyes. '_What'd I ever do to you Alexa? What'd I ever do to you?_'

She couldn't hold back her screams as he raced from the building and to her car.

'_You're just as bad as them Alexa. You're a murderer too._' that was both of them.

That night, she couldn't sleep. All she could see was Spencer. Alexa decided to call Harper Hillman. It had been a few weeks since they had spoken but the two had stayed on relatively good terms. Before Harper could even say hello, Alexa had poured out everything that had happened to her.

"Spencer isn't dead Alexa. I saw him on the news just a few days ago. He's like a cop or something now." Harper had informed her.

"I know, it could have been him though. What if it had been him?" Alexa inquired desperately.

"I don't know what to tell you Alexa. Spencer's probably gotten over it all by now."

Alexa thought about that. Spencer was a smart man, he didn't often show emotion but Alexa had learned to read him.

"No, he wasn't that kind of person. Spencer Reid never forgets."

The next morning, Alexa went to work, her mind still reeling over the night before. She didn't see the man watching her. She didn't hear him come up behind her. She didn't realize he was there until he slammed her in the back of the head.

* * *

"She's missing and I need your help to find her. Please help me help her." Harper Hillman pleaded with Spencer. "You're a federal agent. You're obligated to help people no matter who they are or what they've done."

"I'm obligated to assist my team in tracking down some of the worst serial killers in this country. We haven't decided to take the case and therefore, I have no obligation to help." Reid said quietly, still standing partially behind Morgan.

"Spencer…"

"No."

"Reid." Hotch warned. Reid's mouth clamped shut immediately.

"I'm begging you. I'll pay you a private fee. She needs your help. We all do! Aren't most kidnapping victims killed within the first 24 hours! Alexa's been missing for over 36! Please Spencer, Cristian's already dead! Tyler was killed before he was!" she shrieked.

"What?"

"Everyone that was there that day is a target. You have to stop this."

"I can't believe we took this case." Reid mumbled to Morgan. He had finally given up on anyone to play chess with and had bought himself a revolving chessboard. Now he had an opponent just as intelligent as he was: himself.

"You still play that game." Harper commented from her seat next to Morgan. She had stuck close to Reid ever since JJ had announced that the BAU would be taking the case. Morgan had in turn, refused to leave the two of them alone.

"Yes. It's relaxing and challenging all at the same time." he didn't look up from the board, pondering his next move.

"I can't thank you enough for taking this case." Harper crossed and uncrossed her legs.

"It wasn't my choice."

"I know. This is still one of the best things you've ever done."

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm no doing it for Alexa either. I just was to get this over with and then head home. Can I please get back to my game?" Reid refused to look at her face.

"Hey now. Calm down Reid. We'll be landing soon and you're gonna have to keep your head. Can you do that?" Morgan asked rather gently, trying his hardest not to snap at Harper.

"Yeah, I might as well clean up." Reid toppled his king with his index finger, watching it roll off the board and onto the floor of the plane.

"Some of the others are there. They didn't want me to come and find you." Harper said gently.

"Others?" Reid watched the fallen king roll under Hotch's feet.

"Most of the players didn't leave Vegas." Harper informed him.

"Really?" Reid said uninterestedly. The king was still rolling…under Prentiss's sleeping form and on past Rossi.

"They think it was you." she said suddenly.

"What?"

"They think it was you who killed Christen and Tyler and then kidnapped Alexa. The police are looking at the fact the we all went to same high school. The others, well…they're looking at other facts."

"Why would I want to kill Christian and Tyler?" Reid huffed indignantly. They were accusing _him_ of murder? _Him_?

"Can we please stop skating around the real issue here? We both know what happened that day. We both know that you're still angry. I was wrong and Alexa was right. You've been holding onto this for years." Harper leaned back in her chair. Morgan looked between the two of them.

"You debated on whether your torture left lasting effects on me. Good to know you're so proud of what you did."

"I didn't say that."

"I don't care what you have to say. I'm done." Reid stood and walked to stand next to Prentiss who had woken up from her nap.

On his way down the steps of the plane, he heard a crunch from under his feet. He looked down to see the king from his chess set. It had broken in half. Reid stooped down and grabbed the two halves of the king.

"It's broken." He said.

"Yeah, it's not the only one." Morgan said quietly.

* * *

I don't know if I should make this a Morgan/Reid slash. Right now it's just friendship but I don't know. Leave me a review and tell me what you think.


	3. Chapter 2

Criminal Minds Fanfiction

Title: Eye For an Eye

Summery:

Rating: M (For violence)

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. Wish I did, but I don't.

AN: (IMPORTANT!) What has two thumbs and just got a new laptop? THIS GAL! My computer like exploded so I had to restart this FanFiction. Hope I didn't take too long. Also, I have decided to make this a Morgan/Reid Slash so if that offends you, sorry!

* * *

Chapter 2

"You're here! It's about time!" a burly man with a thick mustache greeted them as they entered the police station. "Chief Watson, are you Miss Jareau?"

"Yes I am. This is the team, SSAs Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, and Dr. Spencer Reid." JJ gestured to all of them in turn. "We'd like to get started immediately if you don't mind."

"Sure sure. I'll take you to your space. Some of these grown men are getting antsy." Watson replied with a hallow laugh.

"We'll need to interview each and every one of them." Hotch informed him.

"I figured as much. One of them left to go get himself something to eat but his wife's still here." Watson shrugged his shoulders. "We've got most of the old football team here but it's been hard tracking everybody down."

"That means there could be more victims we don't know about. We'll have or technical analyst see who she can track down. Christian might not have been the first." Hotch said darkly. "We'll need to break up into teams. Rossi and Prentiss, JJ, you'll be with me, Morgan and Reid, you two will be together."

"Actually Hotch, I was thinking that I could stay back and work the geographic profile. I'm sure that Morgan could handle the interviews himself." Reid suggested in what he hoped wasn't a desperate voice.

"Sorry Pretty Boy, I'm gonna need someone to back me up." Morgan grinned broadly at him.

"Good, now we'll-"

"There he is! There's that little bastard!" A voice shouted from across the station.

"Oh god, I didn't know they'd called David in." Harper gasped softly.

"You son of a-"

"David please!" Harper stood between Reid and the ex-football team captain.

"Where is she, huh? Where are you hiding her?" he demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything." Reid took a few steps back, stumbling over his own feet.

"Hey man, you need to calm down." Morgan warned, his dark eyes flashing dangerously.

"No! I don't need to calm down! He killed Christian and now Alexa's missing! They were my best friends!"

"He didn't kill anyone, David. Spencer lives all the way in Virginia. We just flew in together. He had no idea this was going on." Harper said quietly, trying to soothe her friend. "He's here to help."

"If we're going to find Alexa alive, we're going to have to work together." Hotch took over for Harper.

David glared haughtily at Reid. "Yeah sure, when you're done looking, you'll see he's the only one left." He turned on his heel and walked away.

"Are you going to tell me what that was about?" Hotch eyed Reid carefully.

"I didn't plan to, no." Reid said, shuffling his feet.

"Maybe Reid should take a more 'hands-off' approach to this one." Morgan suggested uneasily. "His presence might create a bias that we just can't afford right now. Times ticking on Alexa."

"True, Reid, stared working the geographic profile. Morgan, you're going to have to handle those interviews yourself." Hotch said as the team broke into pairs. Morgan quickly pulled Reid aside.

"Hey kid, you alright?"

"I'm not a child Morgan." Reid dodged.

"That's not what I asked. Are you okay?" Morgan asked again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just…it's a lot to see the whole team together again. High school wasn't exactly as fun for me as it was for them." Reid replied, a nervous edge to his voice.

"I get the picture. However, you aren't in high school anymore. You're here with us. You're safe." Morgan placed a comforting hand on Reid's shoulder, giving him a small smile, one that was not returned.

Reid stared at his map for a long time. To be completely honest, it told him absolutely nothing. Christian, Tyler, and Alexa had all disappeared from totally different locations. Christen, a parking lot at McDonalds, Tyler, a park during his morning run, and Alexa from her job.

There was no geographic connection. Their killer had chosen these specific victims, not caring where they happened to be at the time. He ran his long fingers through his hair, aggravated at the dead end.

'_I'm the connection. It's me._'

* * *

"_Spencer? Spencer Reid?" A young Spencer Reid looked up from his book to see Harper Hillman staring down at him._

"_Um, are you talking to me?" he asked dumbfounded._

"_Some genius you are! Do you know any other Spencer Reids?" she playfully poked his cheek._

"_No, I guess not." Reid looked back to his book. He only had a couple hundred pages left to finish._

"_Alexa wants to see you." Harper shoved the book away, taking its place on the table in front of him._

"_Alexa Lisbon? What in the world does she want with me?" Reid inquired, bewildered. _

"_I don't know. She said it was important though, sent me right over." She smiled alluringly at him. Alexa was so pretty, how could he say no?_

"_Well alright then. But I'm not doing anyone's homework." Reid warned her._

"_Oh I'm sure you won't. That's okay though." Harper laughed darkly._

_The two traveled at a light pace, Reid toting his book bag with care. "She wants to see me here?" he asked. They were at the football field._

"_Yep." Harper skipped ahead, gesturing for him to follow,_

"_I thought you'd never get here!" Alexa cried excitedly when she saw them. The entire football team was with her._

"_Hey Spency!" it was David. Harper gave Reid a quick shove forward._

"_Looky here boys. Spency thought he was was gonna get a little lovin' from my girl." David jeered, knocking Spencer to the ground._

"_Oh, is that what he thought? Disgusting little thing." Alexa and Harper giggle together._

"_No! I thought you needed help with the calculus home-"David punched him square in the jaw._

"_You think you're so smart? Think yourself out of this one freak!" he spat. Christian grabbed his arms while Tyler pulled at his pants._

"_No! What are you doing?" another punch from David. One of the cheerleaders brought the rope._

_Finally, his pants and boxers were gone. Christian yanked off his shirt._

_They tied him to the goalpost, the rope digging painfully into his wrist._

"_Please let me go!" He begged, hot tears running down his cheeks._

"_That'll teach you to come onto someone else's girl." David punched him again, this time in the stomach._

"_Let me go, please someone let me go." He whispered. Would it never end._

"_Spencer?" a soft voice called. "Spencer…" unwanted hands all over his body. "Wake up Spencer." A soft laugh. "No…NO!"_

"_Reid?" this voice was different. "Reid, come on kid, wake up." Stronger. _

"Reid!"

Reid jerked awake, Morgan standing over him.

"You were shouting in your sleep. It woke me up." Morgan informed him lightly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Really?" Reid looked at the clock: 1:47 a.m."Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep." He said. Reid stood up, too afraid to go back to sleep.

"You expect me to go back to sleep after that? No way man. Something's eating at you and you're gonna have to tell somebody soon." Morgan warned.

"You never told anybody." Reid said quietly.

Morgan paused to think. "That was a different situation Reid."

"Was it? No! We all have secrets. I have my problems and you have yours. Let's leave it at that." Reid said angrily.

"C'mon man, talk to me!"

"Can't you just drop it? God Morgan! I am _not_ a child!" Reid slammed the bathroom door.

"Alright…I'll leave you alone…for now." Reid heaved a sigh of relief.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Time is ticking on Alexa. The others were killed within four days of being kidnapped. Alexa's been missing for three." Hotch said the next day.

"So if the killer's sticking to a pattern, we have less than 24 hours to find her alive. Lovely." Rossi sighed deeply. Reid set the file he'd been holding down on the table. He looked a mess his hair in erratic disarray and dark circles under his eyes. He had not gone back to sleep after his nightmare.

"The players are in a panic Hotch, all wondering who's going to be next." Prentiss informed him.

"I noticed that as well. They're right to be worried." Hotch looked over the crime scene photos.

"This is getting us nowhere." Rossi snapped suddenly ending the moment of silence. "Let's be honest here, the only real connection here is Reid. He brings the case together. We've looked at the high school over and over again." All eyes looked at Reid. "The real question is why. These kills appear to be revenge killings. Someone feels wronged and we don't know why?"

Reid looked down at the tabletop.

"What is it Reid?" Hotch asked quietly.

"It's nothing, they just pushed me around is all." He responded in a small voice. Morgan shot him a glance.

"It's got to be more than that." Rossi pushed.

"Well, it isn't okay." Reid snapped back. He jumped out of his seat and left the room.

"You shouldn't have pushed. It's his life." Morgan said angrily.

"If his life is somehow mixed up in all of this, it's the only way we're going to figure anything out." Rossi replied calmly.

"You can't just use him like that. This is hurting him Rossi, I've seen it. We need Reid's head in the game for this." Morgan defended.

"Let's just let Reid calm down a bot. when he cools, he'll come back and we'll resume." Hotch quickly diffused the argument.

Reid stood in the bathroom. He was shaking like a leaf. How was this happening, how could he have let this happen?

"Just tell them. Just tell them what happened." He chanted to himself. "You'll feel better." He whispered. '_Doubt it._' He thought. He splashed some water on his face and looked in the mirror. '_You told Morgan. You trusted him. You should be able to trust the rest of the team._' He told himself.

Reid sighed heavily and leaned on the sink. He had to face facts. This had something to do with him.

"You okay kid?" Morgan inquired when Reid returned.

"Yeah. I'm just tired is all." Reid replied quietly. He sat down next to the older man. "I'm sorry I snapped at you last night."

"S'okay man. You were upset. I pushed your buttons. It happens."

"What am I going to do Morgan? Half the people out there thin I'm the killer. They think I'm the one doing this! Sure, I've always been angry but…I could hurt them…but then I couldn't."

"Of course you couldn't do it Reid. You're too nice." Morgan grinned and touched Reid's shoulder. "It's up to you how much you want them to know."

Reid sighed. "I know." Reid stood up. "I'm going to have to go talk to Hotch." Reid stood and took a deep breath.

"Want me to come with you?" Morgan asked tentatively.

"No…this is something I need to do on my own." Reid sighed again and headed out the door.

Alexa Lisbon woke up frightened. There was darkness all around her. She soon realized that it wasn't dark, she had been blindfolded.

"Someone's awake I see." A voice said. Alexa tried to scream but before any sound could escape her lips, a hand snapped over her mouth. "Now now, you can't start making all that racket again.

"Let me go." Alexa sobbed, her cries muffled by her assailant's hand.

"Can't do that. Even if I could, I wouldn't." Alexa struggled, kicking her legs back and forth. Her assailant laughed. "That's good, keep your energy up. I want you to be awake." The blindfold fell from her face. "You recognize this place, don't you Alexa?"

She was at the football field.

"Oh my god."

"Poor little Spencer Reid. Barely even 12 years old and look what you did to him. You led him here. You're the little harlot that humiliated him. I think it's time you were humiliated as well. It's only fair?" she was shoved into the grass. Alexa felt her arms being pulled behind her, her hands tied. She was pulled back onto her knees and tied to the goalpost.

"I think something's missing." The unsub pulled at Alexa's pants.

"No! Let me go you freak!" Alexa screamed again.

"You're so selfish Alexa. How many times did he beg you to let him go? How many? What did you do instead? You laughed at him." The unsub chuckled and removed Alexa's jeans.

"Please! I'll do anything! Please don't kill me!" Alexa screamed.

The unsub stood suddenly and pulled something out of a bag. Alexa felt her stomach dropped when she saw what it was. In the unsub's hands was a metal pipe.

"What're you doing?" Alexa asked, her voice quivering.

"I'm going to end this." The pipe came down on Alexa's head the next second. She felt her skull crack with the force of the blow. The unsub lifted the pipe again and slammed it back down on Alexa's head. "You're a whore! A demon sent to destroy that boy. I'm sending you back to hell." The pipe slammed against Alexa's chest. "Say it." Against her legs.

"Say what!" Alexa mumbled, blood dribbling from her mouth.

"Tell me exactly what you are. Tell me you're a whore!" the unsub shrieked.

"I'm a whore." Alexa sobbed. The unsub dropped the pipe with a clank.

"Good, good that you know." Alexa sobbed loudly, pulling at her restraints. The unsub reached back inside the bag and pulled out a revolver. She placed the barrel of the gun to Alexa's forehead. "It's time to die."

Spencer Reid awoke in his hotel room. He looked at the clock. 2:45 a.m.

"Ugh, not again." He turned over in his bed and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep again. It wasn't working. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the mattress. He stood up and walked across the hotel room to the little kitchenette area. He put a cup of coffee on to brew.

"That isn't going to help you sleep you know." He heard Morgan say.

"I know. I can't sleep. I guess I'll just have to stay awake." Reid shrugged and watched the coffee machine for a few more moments.

"Did you tell Hotch everything?" Morgan inquired after a time.

"Yeah. He knows about the football field." Reid sighed loudly.

"How'd he take it?"

"He said he knew something bad had to have happened for me to react the way I did. He just didn't know how bad." Reid shrugged. "Other than that, he took it fine I guess. He was kind of pissed though."

"That's understandable. I was pissed too." Morgan rolled over in his bed to face Reid. "You were just a kid, you shouldn't have had to go through that. No one should have to go through that."

"Yeah. And somehow, the universe thought t would be fair to throw all of this back in my face. Here I am, trying to protect the very people who ruined my life. Sometimes Morgan, I think that if they died, that if someone killed them…it wouldn't be so bad. And then I feel bad for feeling that way. Part of me doesn't want to find Alexa." Reid confessed. He hung his head.

"Reid…I can't say I don't understand why you feel that way. It makes sense. Still, this is the job. It's our duty to do everything in our power to save Alexa. We have to push those emotions aside. We can only hope that we never have to see the people that hurt us again." Morgan told him seriously. Reid sighed again.

"You're right. I guess I'm just being overly sensitive. Thanks." Reid smiled at his friend.

"You're welcome pretty boy." Morgan replied sleepily. Reid grinned at him again. Morgan looked so peaceful when he slept. A look of serenity replaced the easy smile and twinkling eyes. Reid thought…he rather liked this Morgan. The coffee machine beeped signaling that his cup was ready. He picked it up and took a sip. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Needs sugar."

"A body's been found." Chief Watson told the team as he led them through the station. "It's believed to be Alexa Lisbon."

"Damn." Rossi said. "We missed our chance. It's only a matter of time before someone else gets killed."

"The crime scene was different this time though. She wasn't left in the parking lot of the high school. She was tied to a goalpost on the football field." The chief informed them. Hotch glanced at Reid.

"We need to head to the scene. Reid, a word." Hotch stood. Reid followed him out of the station.

"Hotch…I don't-"

"Is there anything else Reid, anything that you aren't telling me?"

"No. I've told you everything."

"There was no one else involved. Someone who would want to protect you?" Hotch pushed.

"No. Not back then and not now. I honestly have no idea who's doing this Hotch. I'm sorry. Thank you for reinforcing that this is all my fault, thanks for that, really." Reid said harshly.

"You know that's not what I meant. We need to cover all angles here Reid. It could be someone you barely know, someone you only met once. Whoever it is is getting revenge for you and to be honest, you're the only one that's going to be able track our unsub down."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"The level of violence has increased dramatically." Prentiss observed as she looked over Alexa corpse.

"You're right. The others weren't nearly this bad." Morgan said as he walked up behind her.

"Beaten before death, killed by a gunshot, stabbed postmortem. Wounds to the face and genitals. This was definitely personal." Reid stared at Alexa's lifeless body for a long time. How could this be happening? How could he have let this happen at all? Alexa certainly didn't deserve such treatment.

"You okay kid?" Morgan asked when he noticed Reid's stare.

"I…I don't know." Reid whispered, a look of fright of his face.

"Hey…come on." Morgan touched Reid's shoulder gently and led him away from the scene. "Remember, never let them see you break down."

"Did I do this, Morgan? I said it wouldn't be so bad…so bad f she died, that is. Did I do this?" Reid demanded, his eyes clouding.

"No! You didn't do this. This was no one but the unsub. You can't blame yourself for how you feel Reid. You were hurt. They hurt you." Morgan hugged him tight.

"I don't know if I can do this! I-"

"Don't talk like that, kid. Everything is gonna be okay, we're gonna nail this guy. Then we can go home and you can pretend like none of this ever happened."

"It's never that easy Morgan. I can't pretend this didn't happen. I know it did. I wanted them gone. I can't tell you how many times I wished them dead just so I could be free!"

"Reid stop. Calm down." Morgan shook the younger man's shoulders lightly. "You can't let this get to you. You have to calm down." Reid breathed deeply, trying to stop himself from panicking.

"We're going to go back to the scene and you're going to do your genius thing. Then we'll catch this guy." Morgan released the boy slowly, watching to see if he would fall.

"You're right. I know you're right." Reid replied breathily.

"Alright. That's okay. Stay here a few more seconds, cool off some more." Morgan told him.

"No, I'm okay. I'll be fine." Reid smiled unsteadily. "Thanks for the reality check though."

"Anytime kid." Morgan patted him lightly on the shoulder, relieved. Reid had been really losing it. He had been frightened for the kid. No…it was more than that. Morgan frowned when he was sure Reid was looking. Why did he suddenly feel so relieved?

"Let's head back to the scene okay?" Reid's voice pulled him out of his trance.

"Yeah."

"Looks like there's something in her mouth." Prentiss bent down and reached a gloved hand into Alexa's mouth. She dislodged the piece of paper and carefully read the message.

"'Dead Whore'" she read aloud. "Well that's one way to get a point across."

"Alexa wasn't a whore." Reid pointed out.

"She was in the unsub's eyes." Hotch corrected him.

"Chief Watson, were there any notes with the other bodies?"

"No ma'am."

"So this is his first time actually making contact." Prentiss confirmed with a sharp nod.

They watched the coroner carry Alexa's body away. "We need to get a handle on this now." Rossi decided.

* * *

"He's so pretty. Don't you think so David?" the ex-football team captain cowered on the floor of a dusty, old cellar, both of his legs broken. He had been cornered outside his car in the station parking lot.

"S-Sure." He stuttered out.

"I know. It's funny really. Part of me doesn't really understand what's going on anymore. I'm doing everything right and yet he just seems afraid of me. I am doing things right…right?" the unsub stood suddenly and paced the length of the cellar. "I'm giving him the one thing he's always wanted. I'm giving him his vengeance, a chance to finally stand up to you. He can't do it on his own." The unsub raved. David tried to push himself farther into the corner. "Why does he have to be so difficult? You would think he would be _so_ happy." The unsub sighed.

"Maybe he didn't want you to kill anyone." David suggested quietly hoping the unsub would take the bait.

"Not kill anyone?" the unsub rolled over that thought for a few seconds. "That doesn't make any sense David. Maybe it's because he hasn't figured out who I am? Maybe it's because he doesn't know me! Therefore, he doesn't realize how good the things I'm doing are! You're so smart David!" the unsub moved to the back of the cellar.

"Please! Just let me go! I promise I won't tell anyone about this!"

"But I want you to, David. I want you to tell everyone." The pipe still had Alexa's blood on it, dried around the edges. "This time he'll know it was me." The unsub swung the pipe like a baseball bat, cracking it against David's skull. Again and again until the unsub was sure David wasn't moving. "He'll know it's me."

* * *

"Another body's been found." Chief Watson informed the team that evening.

"What?" Prentiss stood suddenly.

"Are we sure it's the same unsub. The whole team should be here." JJ looked around the station. "No one appears to be missing."

"David went out to pick up something to eat. He never came back. We got a call that a body had been discovered on someone's old porch. One of our officers went out and recognized him from the station." Chief Watson sat down.

"The unsub's accelerating." Hotch sighed and ran a through his hair. "We need to move the team. Now."

"Was there a note?" Rossi asked.

"Not a note exactly."

"What are those?"

"They appear to be carnations. May I?" Reid looked to the coroner.

"Yes of course." She replied.

Reid moved closer to David's head which was covered in crown of bright pink carnations.

"So the unsub likes flowers?"

"Not necessarily. Different flowers mean different things. Pink carnations are generally symbols of a mother's love." Reid explained. Reid plucked one of the flower's from David's hair. "And these are definitely carnations."

"Wait a second. A mother's love? That changes the case completely."

"Not really Dave. If anything, It makes the case make a whole lot more sense." Hotch moved to stand beside Reid.

"The unsub is woman who believes she's Reid's mother and wants to protect him. She's killing out of love." Prentiss realized.

"Killing out of love? I've seen love missy and this certainly ain't it." Chief Watson said skeptically.

"A twisted perception of love. Reid couldn't protect himself so now the unsub feels that she has to protect him. Like a mother would protect her child." Hotch explained, his eyes flickering back to Reid.

"So the unsub is your mother?" Chief Watson looked at Reid as well.

"That's not possible. My mother is watched 24/7 at a hospital. She couldn't have left without alerting someone." Reid admitted slowly.

"So it someone who just _believes_ she's your mother. We need to get back to the station." Morgan declared.

"Think pretty boy. Women who seemed oddly protective of you, someone who was always watching. Teachers, lunch ladies, doctors…" Morgan described. He and Reid had been trying to find the unsub for hours.

"I'm being honest Morgan. No one stands out. Female teachers liked me, the lunch ladies were nice but not overly so. I can't think of anyone who would go to this extreme." Reid put his head in his hands. He could feel a headache coming on.

"So much for a photographic memory huh?"

"_Eidetic_ memory, Morgan, not photographic." Reid corrected. He leaned back in his chair and thought. Someone who thought she was his mother. He had called the hospital his mother was in to see if there were any times at all in which Diana Reid had not been accounted for. There were none. So that ruled out his actual mother…then again…before his mother's health had deteriorated, she did have friends that had doted on him.

"Reid?" Morgan inquired.

"I need to speak to my mother."

* * *

"Dr. Reid! It's so good to see you again!" a nurse greeted them at the reception desk.

"Thanks. We need to speak to my mother. It's kind of urgent." Reid informed her.

"Of course, she'll be so happy to see you. Just let me go talk to her nurse for a second." The woman smiled warmly at them before going to find the other nurse.

"So what are we here for exactly?" Morgan inquired of Reid for like the tenth time.

"I told you," Reid rolled his eyes, "we're here to talk to my mother about some of the people she might have known, people I can't remember."

"Right."

"Dr. Reid!" the nurse caught their attention again. "Your mother's in the common room. Her nurse says she's good to see you."

"Thank you." Reid followed her out of the lobby and into the common room. He quickly spotted his mother.

"I'll leave you to it then." The nurse left.

"I thought you were ready to do this." Morgan said after a few moments of Reid not moving.

"Yeah, so was I." he played with the strap of his messenger bag for a few seconds.

"C'mon Reid, you can do this." Morgan placed a hand on the small of his back and led him over to were Diana Reid sat.


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: Okay, I hope I've been updating more regularly. I really have been making a conscious effort to write more so I can update. If you have any ideas, PM me or leave me a review, I adore feedback. This chapter is kind of creepy so…don't cuss me out or anything that would kind of make me sad._

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* * *

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Chapter 5

"Mom?" Reid called tentatively.

"Spencer? Spencer!" Diana Reid said sharply looking up from her book.

"Hey mom." Reid rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"What are you doing here? You didn't say you were coming." She gestured for him to sit down.

"We have case here and well…I need your help to figure some things out." Reid sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs. He tugged on Morgan's shirt to get him to do the same.

"Who is this?" Diana asked.

"This is SSA Derek Morgan, we work together." Reid said absently.

"It's nice to see you again ma'am." Morgan greeted. Diana narrowed her eyes, looking him up and down.

"Anyway, back to the case," Reid said, effectively cutting through the tension, "we believe the unsub may be someone who you used to know, an old friend, someone who was especially fond of me."

"Well that was everyone. Can you blame them? You're special spencer." Diana smiled at him.

"Yeah, but someone specific, someone too close."

"No, I don't believe so, Spencer. No one stands out." Diana's forehead crinkled as she thought.

"Great. Well, this was a dead end too." Reid let out and exasperated sigh. He was so _done_ with this case.

"Don't forget, we'll be going to your high school too. Don't get upset." Morgan encouraged. After about an hour of questioning Reid's mother. Morgan excused himself to go to the restroom. That left Reid and his mother alone.

"So…how have you been?"

"How long?" Diana inquired. She crossed her legs and leaned back in her seat.

"How long?" Reid echoed. "What do you mean?"

"How long have you been in love with that man?" Reid's jaw literally dropped.

"W-what are you talking about?" Reid spluttered.

"A mother knows, spencer. A mother knows." She smiled gently. "I see it when you look at him. It's in your eyes, they glow with happiness."

"I am not in love with Agent Morgan. We're colleagues and I guess we're friends-"

"But you want more than that?"

"Mom!" Reid gasped. "It's not like that."

"Well, you never do write about a woman in any of your letters. I do however, hear a lot about one certain Supervisory Special Agent Morgan." She hinted.

"That's because we spend a lot of time together. He's even saved my life before. We've been through a lot and I know I can trust him. I' know he's a good person."

"Then that's all you need to know. He could be right for you." Reid cringed. Morgan was a hardcore player, never with the same girl more than once…maybe the same girl's sister but certainly never the same girl.

"It would never work. We're nothing alike." Reid said regretfully.

"You'll never know if you never try. You may find interesting results." She beamed at him before reaching out to brush the hair out of his eyes. "Any woman _or_ any man would be more than lucky to have you standing by their side."

"Mom-" Reid heard Morgan returning from the restroom.

"Hey Pretty Boy, Hotch called."

"Oh. I guess that means it's time for us to head out."

"Come back soon. And next time, don't just come for a case."

"I will. Hopefully we'll have some time after all of this is over." Reid hugged his mother goodbye.

"Good luck Spencer…with everything."

* * *

The unsub watched Dr. Spencer Reid hug his mother and clutched at her chest. He should have been hugging _her_ like that. There was another man with him. He said something to make Spencer release his mother and follow. The two of them left the building. She seethed with anger at the two of them but quickly softened her features. She had to put on a good show.

"Hello Diana." She greeted, just a little bit of edge in her voice.

"Hello Nurse Cubstid." Diana replied sourly.

"Was the young Dr. Spencer Reid I've heard so much about?" Nurse Cubstid asked as she sat down in what had once been Spencer's seat.

"Yes, that was my son and one of his friends."

"A friend?" the nurse inquired, her voice hollow.

"He claimed it's just a co-worker but I swear he's in love." Diana said thoughtfully.

"In love?" rage coursed through the unsub's veins. Love? With another man? Blasphemy! "Really?" she tapped her lips. "It was nice talking to you Diana. I always love our daily conversations." She stood. Her head was thumping, blood pounding through her ears. She had to do something, and fast.

Reid followed Morgan back to the car.

"Well at least we got to see your mom again. That was worth it, right?" Morgan said in his normal cheerful voice.

"Yeah, I guess when you look at it that way." Reid fiddled with his fingers as Morgan started the car.

"What's eatin' at you pretty boy?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're actin' all nervous again. What's bothering you."

"Oh. Nothing is really bothering me. My mother and I just had a talk is all. She made me think about some things I really didn't want to think about."

"Well it must have been something intense to get you all worked up like this." Reid pushed some of his hair behind one of his ears. Why did his mom have to bring up what he'd been avoiding for so long? Sure, he'd liked Morgan for a long time but…he'd never pursued anything. Morgan wasn't interested in him, he never would be.

Reid was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn't see the black sedan before it had slammed into the driver's side of the car and ran them off the road. Reid cried out in shock as the car flip completely over, landing upside down. He groaned in pain.

"M-Morgan…" he murmured. The older man was unconscious. "MORGAN! DEREK" he cried. He tried to squirm out of his seatbelt but found that he was pinned inside. "Damn it!"

"Spencer!" he heard a woman's voice scream. The door was pried open and his seat belt sliced by a knife. "You're alright, I'm so glad. You could have gotten hurt."

"Who are you?" Reid demanded. She looked at him, confused.

"I'm your mother, Spencer."

"Wha-" she brandished a needle. "Oh god. Please, please don't do this."

"It's just something to make you feel better. It'll keep you calm." Reid couldn't stop her from piercing his arm with the needle. He felt his eyelids growing heavy. "Go to sleep Spencer. Let's go home."

Dr. Spencer Reid's eyes snapped open. He was in a dimly lit bedroom. Reid moved to stand but found that his legs were still numb. He tried to use cry out but he could barely move his lips.

* * *

He turned his head from side to side trying to look around. The ceiling was decorated with glow in the dark stars. The moon was painted in the ceiling. He recognized different cosmic bodies painted all over the walls. He felt his eyes close again.

"Spencer?" he heard a voice say after some time. "Wake up Spencer. C'mon, wake up honey." Reid opened his eyes a second time to see the woman staring down at him. "There you are."

"Where am I?" he asked groggily.

"You're back in your room silly. I know you're all tuckered out from your little excursion but that won't happen anymore."

"Where's Morgan?"

"He's in a better place now. Don't worry about him. You don't have to worry about anything anymore because mommy's gonna take good care of you." Reid felt his heart drop. In a better place? Was Morgan dead? Had he gotten the man he loved killed?

"Oh my god."

"You must be hungry. Am I right? Let's go eat. I'll have dinner ready for both us. You'll love it!" she cooed.

"I want to go home."

"You _are_ home."

"Open your mouth, Spencer." Miriam Cubstid ordered.

"I'm not hungry."

"Please eat! You need to grow up big and strong." She caressed his face. Reid felt so exhausted, the drugs hadn't fully worn off in his system so he couldn't fight her off. She finally gave up and shoved the forkful of macaroni between is lips. "There, was that so hard?" Reid gagged for a few second before forcing the food down.

"No." he squeaked.

"Have some more." He didn't fight her this time. He had to feed into her delusion. He had to survive. '_Why? What do you have to live for? The one person you care about is dead._' He thought ruefully. He felt tears leak from his eyes.

"Don't cry spencer. You're home now. Mommy loves you." She lightly pressed his head to her breast, kissing the top of his head. "Mommy loves you."


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan awoke slowly. He could tell that he was in a hospital, the familiar white walls and sterile scent giving the room away.

"C'mon. Show me those pretty eyes." Morgan's gaze flickered to the left side of his bed. FBI Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia was wearing a bright purple sundress with matching purple bobble necklace. Her red hair was tied up in pigtails.

"Hey, baby girl…" Morgan's voice was rough and gravely from disuse. He coughed loudly and then groaned at the effort that took.

"Shh! Here, let me get you some water." Penelope handed him a paper cup with water in it. "Don't move your arms, just lay back, okay?"

"Reid? Where's Reid? He was with me." Morgan asked after he'd taken a long sip of the water. Penelope faltered for a second, trying to think of the best way to tell him the bad news.

"Morgan…Reid…Reid, he's missing." She said carefully. Morgan stared at her for about a second before he ripped the IV out of his arm and moved to stand.

"Then why are we all sitting around like nothing's going on? Reid's probably wondering where we are! He's probably scared!" He shouted.

"Derek please! Sit down! You're no good to read while you're hurt. You can help him once you're better!" Penelope grabbed his arm and attempted to yank him back into the bed.

"No, I'll lay down when Reid's back with us."

* * *

"Spencer! Wake up. I have to go to work okay? I made you lunch, it's in the microwave. There are some movies for you to watch in the living room, okay?" Miriam Cubstid stroked her would-be son's unconscious face. She had to sedate him again when she attempted give him a bath. Reid had put up a god fight but had lost. She kissed his forehead lightly and tightened the collar around his neck. If he tried to get away, he'd be getting a nasty surprise. She didn't know who that man was but he was never going to get anywhere near her son anymore. She was sure she'd taken care of him for good. No one was ever going to come between her and her son ever again.

* * *

"Morgan? Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?" Prentiss demanded when he and Penelope walked into the police station.

"Reid's missing, I have to help you all look for him." He said simply.

"No, Morgan, go back to the hospital." Hotch ordered.

"No. not until we find the kid." Morgan sat down with the rest of the team. "What leads do we have?"

"None. We're still looking for a woman. A mother perhaps." Rossi supplied. Morgan looked over the case file for about the millionth time. Then, something hit him.

"What if she doesn't actually want Reid?" he inquired.

"What do you mean?"

"In cases like this, with a mother lashing out like this. It typically means that she's lost her child. What if she's looking for a replacement. The killings started what? A month ago? Garcia, check for deaths of children in the last couple of months." He requested of her.

"Sure thing sugar. I'll do that right now." Garcia jumped up and ran to get her computer.

"You really believe that she's using Reid as a replacement? With the focus she's put on him it sure seems like she's been obsessed with him for quite a long time." Rossi said skeptically.

"It's the best we have right now." Hotch interceded.

"He's right." Prentiss agreed.

"Exactly, now, let's go get out genius back." Garcia smiled. Morgan watched the team scramble to follow the lead. He listened to the police begin their searches for information on the younger man's whereabouts. Part of him just couldn't believe that this was happening again, that he'd let the man slip from his fingers. He'd let him get hurt. Reid was no doubt wondering where the team was, wondering when they were going to come to his rescue. Morgan closed his eyes in anguish. He was _so_ young, so innocent. Reid…Spencer...he could feel the pain tugging at his chest.

Why was this happening? Sure, the kid was his best friend, he'd always cared about him. But lately…lately it'd been more than that. Lately, whenever he look at the younger man, whenever Re-Spencer through a smile his way, he could feel his heart swell. His entire body felt warm. No matter what the circumstance, no matter who had pissed him off before, he could count on that smile to make him feel invincible.

"You okay?" Garcia sat down across from him.

"I know that face, what's her name?" she smiled. "I'm glad that you still have some hope."

"Yeah, hope." Derek shrugged. Garcia frowned at him.

"What is it Derek? You can tell me." Garcia took his hand.

"It's Reid…I'm not sure what's going on…"

"Eeek!" Garcia shrieked. Morgan's eyes snapped to her in alarm. "I've been waiting for this for so long! I knew you'd eventually admit that you like him. I knew it from the beginning!" she squealed excitedly.

"Wait, what? No, that's not what I was getting at at all." Morgan exclaimed.

"Yes it was. You like him. It's been obvious since the beginning. I just knew something was going to happen between the two of you. The way you look at each other, the way you're always touching him. I'm surprised you two didn't just hop in the sack sooner. The whole team's been taking bets on when you two were finally going to get together." Garcia nodded truthfully.

"Get together? Reid and me?" Morgan actually began to laugh. "Even if I did float that way, Reid would never want me. He wants someone smart, someone who can keep up with him."

"No. I see it when he looks at you." Garcia beamed. Morgan just rolled his eyes. Still the thought couldn't leave his mind.

* * *

Spencer Reid awoke in the same bedroom. He slowly swung his legs over the edge and sat up.

"Hello?" he called. No answer. She must have been at work. He rose to his feet and began the slow trudge to the door. Both shock and hope filled him when the bedroom door swung open with ease. Could she really be this stupid? Did she leave the front door open too? Reid broke into a sprint, running through the hallways and into the foyer. The slammed into the front door and pulled it open. There it was, the sidewalk. He could run.

He lurched out the front door and screamed. He hit the ground and writhed, a surge of electricity ran through him. Volt after volt, Reid yanked at the collar around his neck. The harder he pulled, the greater the surge. It was obvious, the choice he had to make. He crawled back into the house and the electricity stopped flowing. He still shook violently as he passed out on the floor.

When Reid awoke the second time, he was still lying in the foyer. He slowly began to drag himself back to the bedroom. His ears were ringing. He had to do something, he had to get away. But that collar, that collar would be the death of him. There was no way he could stand another shock like that.

"The others, they're coming to get me. Everything is going to be okay. I just have to hold out longer." He told himself. He had no doubt in his mind that the others were in fact coming to his rescue. They were going save him, they were going to free him. At least…the ones that were still alive. Morgan. Reid felt the hot tears slide down his cheek at just the thought. Morgan, the man with the easy smile. His best friend, the love of his life. He couldn't believe that it was all over, that he would never get to be with the man he admired, the man he adored.

Even though he knew he never really had a chance with someone like Derek Morgan, he would have liked to at least gain the confidence to finally admit that he was in love with the older man. He would never get to feel his lips, his warm touch. He would die in the arms of a madwoman. Spencer Reid closed his eyes and silently prayed to join his true love in the afterlife.

"Spencer? Spencer, where are you?" Miriam Cubstid arrived home from her shift at the Bennington sanitarium. The boy's bedroom was empty. Suddenly, she heard sobbing coming from the bathroom. "Spencer, spencer is that you?" she called.

She gently pushed the door open and looked inside. Reid was curled up in a corner next to the toilet, a trail of blood trickling down from his neck. He had tried to cut through the collar.

"Kill me! Kill me! Please! I'm begging you, just go ahead and kill me!" he screamed at her. "Do what you really want, kill me!"

"Oh Spencer, I have no desire to take your life. I love you. I want us to spend the rest of forever together. Mother and son." She cooed, cradling his face in her hands. Reid just sobbed harder.

"I have a mother! I have a family, please, either kill me or let me go." He whispered.

"Let you go where Spencer? You're home."

* * *

Penelope continued the search through the death records of young boys over the past six months. She had almost given up when she finally reached the last file.

"Oh my god." She gasped. That photo, it was unmistakable. She'd found what they'd been searching for.

"Morgan, are you alright? Are you sure you don't need to go to back to the hospital?" JJ asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired. I promised I'll go back to the hospital when Reid is back with us." Morgan grinned at her, still confident that they were going to find their youngest teammate alive.

"Morgan…you know the statistics. You know she's probably…Reid's probably already…"JJ's lip quivered.

"He isn't dead, JJ. If he was…I think I would know." Morgan informed her quietly. "I just know he's okay. We're going to get him back."

That night, when Derek Morgan went to his hotel room to get some sleep after a hard day's work, his mind wouldn't stop racing. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to get the younger boy's frightened face out of his mind. He thought of Alexa and David's injuries. Was she tormenting Reid the same way she had tormented the others? If so, was it better to wish he was already dead?

_No_, Morgan thought, _that wouldn't be better at all._ He couldn't imagine finding Reid's dead body, never seeing that bright smile ever again. Never being able to admit his feelings. He was in love with SSA Dr. Spencer Reid and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

* * *

You're probably pissed at me because I haven't been updating. In my defense, I've been studying for a total of 5 AP test. I still have one to go. Hopefully, the homework load will ease up and I'll be able to update more.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Penelope Garcia had searched long and hard using the parameters given to her by the team. It had been a complete accident when she stumbled upon the suicide case of Travis Johnson. He was a twelve year old in high school. That's what first caught her attention. Apparently, he was being bullied in school and had shot himself in the head with his mother's gun.

Penelope gasped when she pulled up when she pulled up the boy's picture. She was sure that if she put a picture of a younger Spencer Reid next to it, they would be identical. Travis Johnson. He was the connection. She continued her search, honing in on the boy's mother. Miriam Cubstid. She returned to her maiden name when she divorced her husband. Travis's last name hadn't changed.

"Ok crazy lady, let's see what we can find out about you." Penelope dug into the woman's records and gasped again. She quickly dialed her phone.

"Derek, you were right. I found her."

* * *

"She's a nurse at Reid's mom's hospital. That's probably where she found out about him." Morgan informed the team of Garcia's findings.

"Her son killed himself because he was being bullied and she couldn't do anything about it. She must have felt so helpless. God, that poor woman." Prentiss rubbed her forehead.

"So that gives her the right to kidnap our teammate. I'm sure Reid. Would appreciate that." Morgan chided.

"I'm not saying she's innocent. But think, she couldn't protect her child and now he's dead. She doesn't know how to handle the grief so she opted for a substitute instead. Reid just happened to be that substitute." Prentiss explained.

"You're sympathizing with her."

"Yes, that's how we get this job done, Morgan."

"She's probably at the hospital still. We can swing by and pick her up. Rossi, you and JJ go to her house. If Reid is there, you'll find him." Hotch instructed. The team nodded and went their separate ways.

"Let's go pay her a visit." Morgan sighed and sat down in the passenger side seat next to Hotch.

"We're going to get him back, Morgan." Hotch assured him.

* * *

Dr. Spencer Reid banged as loudly as he could on his bedroom door. To keep him from trying to escape, Miriam had bolted the door shut. She wasn't going to lose her son again. The electric collar was still in place and Reid was sure he'd need medical treatment for the burns on his neck.

"Please! Please let me out. I can't stay in here! Please!" he screamed. By now, the team had probably given up. They knew they weren't going to find him. Hell, the probably thought he was dead. He was never going to get out of that room again.

"I'm going to work Spencer. You be a good boy, okay? I'll make you dinner as soon as I get home. We'll eat as a family. Just like we used to." Miriam smiled at the door. He was never going to leave her again.

"Please, I'm begging you. I can't stay in here. You have to let me out! Please, I promise I'll be good. I won't try to leave you. You have to let me out of this room!" Reid shouted again and again. It was dark, it was so dark. He couldn't stand to be alone in the dark.

"I'll be back soon Spencer." He could hear her walking away.

"Please! Please come back!" He banged on the door even louder. "You have to let me out!" he finally broke down and sobbed. He was never going to get out of that room.

* * *

"You really think she's leaving him alone long enough to come to work?" Morgan asked Hotch.

"She needs her routine. That's why she took Reid, she can't handle change. She'll be here." Hotch said curtly. Garcia had already sent them a picture of the red-headed woman. "Alright, fan out. Try not to spook her, there's always the chance that she could run. If we lose her now, we might not be able to catch up with her."

"Don't worry, we won't scare her." Morgan, Prentiss, Hotch, and a team of police officers walked into Bennington sanitarium. She wasn't they had guards at every exit. She wasn't going to get away from them again.

"God, look at this place." JJ said as the entered Miriam Cubstid's home. "She hasn't let him go." She picked up one of the pictures of Travis. "Garcia's right, they could have been twins. It's no wonder she latched onto him so strongly. Probably saw a picture in Diana's room and thought it was her son."

"Reid had to take the full brunt of her desperation. C'mon, let's check the rooms." Rossi started walking through the house. "This house is practically a shrine to him. There are no pictures of anyone else. Just Travis."

"She misses her son." Finally, they came to a dead end.

"What hallway just ends in blank wall." Rossi asked. "We saw the back of the house. There was more than enough space for another room." He knocked on the wall. It was hollow. "JJ." He called.

"Yeah, I saw."

"Wonder what she's keeping behind door number 1." Rossi knocked on the wall just a little bit harder. "Reid? Reid, are you in there?"

* * *

Reid awoke the sound of knocking. God, had the much time already passed? Was she home already? He thought for a few moments. Could he fight her in his state? He was weak, malnourished and severely shaken up. Still, it was now or never. He was going to have to fight her. Reid stood slowly and grabbed one of the book stoppers from the shelf. He could get a knife from the kitchen to cut the collar off after he knocked her out.

The knock came again followed by a muffled sound. Someone was talking. She was calling to him.

"I'm here." He said calmly. "I'm in here. The door's still locked. You'll have to slide it back."

"Slide it back?" Rossi questioned.

"Look! They're like hinges." She pushed lightly on the wall and slid back like you would a screen door. The peered into what had once been Travis's room. Reid was nowhere to be found.

"What the?" Rossi stepped forward and then fell the ground, unconscious. Dr. Spencer Reid stood up, a crazed fear in his eyes.

"Spence? Spence! Calm down!" JJ shouted. She grabbed his arm.

"J…JJ?" he whispered, his eyes were clearing.

"Yes, Spencer. Spence, it's me." JJ smiled at him. "I'm here. Rossi is here. We're going to take you home."

"JJ…JJ!" Reid lurched forward and wrapped his arms around her. "You're here! You're here!" he cried softly into her shoulder. "Please, take me home."

"Okay. Let's try to wake Rossi up first." She smiled gently before bending down to shake Rossi. Reid watched her while she worked.

"JJ?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"Is he alive?"

"Rossi? Yeah, he's fine. You didn't hit him that hard."

"No, not Rossi. Morgan. Is Morgan alive?" Reid whispered.

"Yes. Morgan is fine. He doesn't want to go back to the hospital but he's fine." JJ stood up. "I think we're just going to have to wait on Rossi to wake up on his own. He's like the living dead right now."

"He's okay? Morgan? He's okay." Reid gasped for breath. He was alive? He'd survived the crash? Reid couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes. Morgan's just fine. Stubborn as ever. He's the one who figured out the profile that led us to you. Spence…was that what you were scared of? That Morgan wasn't okay?" JJ watched her friend try to compose himself.

"He's okay. That's all that matters."

"I wouldn't have been your fault Reid."

"I couldn't protect him. I can't even protect myself." Reid whispered.

"Reid, what happened wasn't your fault. The unsub, she lost her son and he looked like you. She thinks you're him. You couldn't have known. It was chance." JJ tried to make sense of what happened but she could already see Reid receding. He falling into himself. It was Hankel all over again. She could already see they were going to lose him.

'_Morgan_' she thought suddenly. Maybe that was who he needed. After all, Reid had been so worried about the older man. She fished out her cell phone and dialed.

* * *

Miriam Cubstid had seen the men come in. She knew they were coming to take her away. They were going to take her Spencer away just like they took her Travis. She stared down at her hands. Had she been such a bad mother that her son had felt the need to kill himself? Even Spencer had begged for death under her care.

"What's so _wrong_ with me?" she asked to no one in particular. There was no answer.

* * *

Derek Morgan nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt his cellphone vibrate.

"Really Morgan, you're going to take a call right now?" Prentiss demanded rather exasperatedly.

"It's JJ! If she's calling right now, it's probably important." Morgan answered his phone.

"_Morgan! Thank God! I didn't think you would answer._" JJ said quickly.

"Yeah. Kinda busy right now. I'll call you back." Morgan tried to hang up.

"_No! You have to stay on the line. There's someone here who really wants to talk to you._" He could hear her handing off the phone.

"_D-Derek_?" Morgan dropped his gun at the sound of that voice.

"Morgan!" he heard Prentiss hiss.

"Kid? Is that you?" he asked.

"_You're okay!_" he could hear the relief in Reid's voice.

"Of course I'm okay. Don't tell me you were worried." Morgan felt as if an anvil had been lifted off his chest. Reid was okay. It was as if all the nightmares had been wiped away in that one moment. "Where are you?"

"_I'm getting in the car with JJ. Rossi just woke up."_

"Woke up?"

"_Yes. I…well…I may have knocked him out._"

"You knocked him out? Why'd you hit him?"

"_I um…I thought he was the unsub_." Reid mumbled out. Moran had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Morgan! Who is it? I swear, if it's some girl-"

"Prentiss, they found Reid."

She could hear them coming. They were outside her door, blocking her in.

"Miriam Cubstid! Come out with your hands up!" one of them shouted. Miriam touched her necklace, a gift from her son.

"Are you safe now? Are you up in heaven?" she asked him. Miriam heaved a deep sigh and opened the door. She was snatched almost immediately and forced to the ground.

"Spencer. You have to go find Spencer." She said quietly.

"We already have him."


End file.
